untitled for now
by Quacked Jimbob
Summary: the fellowship gets transported to the modern age where they meet up with Gandalf's grand-daughter and Legolas starts to have some strange feelings. modern day setting for half the fic, then we switch back to the third age. please R&R:: CHAPTER 4 UP!!!::
1. Prologue

Author?s Ramblings:hey y?all! what?s up? this is just a little fic that I?ve been bouncing around in my head for a while(about a month), ya know...just fixing the story plot and stuff like that^_^. don?t forget to review  
  
Disclaimer:Last I checked J.R.R. Tolkien owned Lord of the Rings. So I don?t own LotR or any of its characters including Legolas ::sad face::   
  
Summary: this is a Legolas romance (NOT SLASH!!!!) ok, so the Fellowship got cornered in a ravine with no way out.....ok maybe there was a way but it?s not what u expect! Gandalf knows about a rift between dimensions(middle earth & earth) and takes them all to earth to stay with his grand-daughter...O.O wait, Gandalf has a GRAND-DAUGHTER!! when did THAT happen! what will the others think of her? and more importantly what will Legolas think of her? and no this is not a mary-sue. . .at least I don?t think so. . .  
  
Note: this is before Boromir dies so he?s gonna be in the story too.....it?s also gonna be from Legolas? POV......now on with the fic!!!!^_^  
  
  
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We were cornered against a cliff wall. The orcs were coming at us from all sides, and I did not dare wish for a way of escape, for there was none. I waited as I watched the teeming masses of orcs come ever closer, sealing our fate (A/N no, nobody dies, so you don?t have to worry your little heads off ::relieved sighs::). I had my double knives out, ready to fight with them as I had already used all of my arrows. I could see that the others also had their swords out, even the little hobbits, bravely standing their ground. Gandalf, though, had no sword and looked deep in thought and concentration. Just as it seemed that the orcs would have us for sure, Gandalf said something that made absolutely no sense whatsoever.   
  
?All of you listen to me! You must close your eyes and trust me! Don?t ask questions now, and whatever you do, don?t open your eyes until you hear me tell you to!? It seemed like ludicracy, but we all did as he said, for we trusted him, even if he did seem a bit mad at times. I stood there, with my eyes closed, listening to the orcs? roars grow ever louder as they came closer, trusting that Gandalf would somehow save us. All of a sudden I felt a mighty jerk, as if something were pulling me backwards. I desperately wanted to look and see what had happened, but I remembered Gandalf?s words and kept my eyes shut. This does not mean that I did not voice my discomfort, as well as the others.  
  
I was certain that all of Middle Earth could hear our screams as we fell, though into what I did not know. Just as suddenly as it had begun, I felt myself land on solid ground.  
  
" You may open your eyes now?, said Gandalf. I quickly complied, as I was curious of what had happened.  
  
The sight that met my eyes was enough to send me into a state of shock, not something that happened often. We seemed to be in a clearing of some kind, there was a very strange looking road (if that is what it truly was) on the other side of a house. There were also many other houses, all lined up on the sides of the ?road?.  
" Gandalf. . .where are we exactly??, Aragorn questioned the old wizard.  
  
" We are at the house of my grand-daughter.? O.O  
  
? You have a GRAND-DAUGHTER!!!???, exclaimed Merry and Pippin simultaneously. Frodo, Sam, Gimli, and Boromir looked as if they shared the sentiment. Gandalf just chuckled quietly, and told them to follow him. We all stood up and walked over to Gandalf who knocked on the back door with his staff.  
  
Immediately, a stream of swearing from the other side of the door could be heard, along with other angry phrases. The most shocking part, though, was that the speaker was a woman from what I could tell from the voice.  
  
" I told you to go away! You nasty, son of a- -?, the sentence was cut short as the door was flung open and out came a very angry looking young woman. When she saw Gandalf, however, her face lit up with a huge smile. So very contradictory to the frown she had worn only moments before. Almost before I could process this all she had engulfed Gandalf in an extremely zealous bear hug, after letting out delighted " GRAMPS!!!?. 


	2. Strange greetings

insane mutterings of an adolescent author: oh my god! people reviewed! they actually reviewed! ::gasps for breath:: thanx so much for your support! i wasn't entirely sure if i would be continuing this fic or not, cause i didn't know if people would like it. but they do! they do! (i is hyper at the moment and in a wacky state of mind so hopefully this installment will be extra long and chalk full of funny for your enjoyment^_^). and yes the story is still in Legolas' POV, but i'll probably change it in later chapters.

disclaimer: oh yeah. almost forgot about this thing:P i do not own LotR or any of its characters, ideas, story plots, etc.

now on with the story!

oh and by the way. . .ari, you have no idea how funny this is gonna get. i got the general plot already set out, and believe me when i tell you that at some parts your gonna have trouble keeping from laughing out loud. and, now, with your encouragement , its gonna be even funnier.(you really asked for it^_^)

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I stared at the young woman who, at the moment, was crushing Gandalf in her bear hug.

"Elizabeth, perhaps you could let us in the house", the afore mentioned wizard managed to gasp.

"Oh, of course. I'm sorry." With this said, she released Gandalf from her hold. It did not escape Pippin's attention, however, that he seemed to be extremely grateful for this. Thus proved by. . .

"Gandalf! She couldn't have had THAT strong a grip!" Gandalf merely looked at the hobbit with this look that clearly said 'wanna bet?'. Pippin gave it up and at least had the sense to look embarrassed.

Aragorn, Boromir, and myself did not pay attention to this little exchange. We were too busy staring at Elizabeth, as Gandalf had called her. She was beautiful (though one could say that spending all that time running from orcs and trying to get to Mordor away from the company of women had seriously impaired our judgment. But one does have to take into consideration that we had never seen a woman like Elizabeth before). She was wearing a tight, blue tank-top, jeans that were slightly flared at the bottom (A/N no they don't know what all these things are called-its just so i can explain what she's wearing without going into lots and lots of detail), and old sneakers that weren't tied.

We were brought forth from our reverie when Elizabeth spoke to us in an exasperated voice.

"Well. Are you going to just stand there all day, staring at me, or are you going to come in?"

Boromir recovered first.

"Forgive us M'lady," he bowed to her and took her hand."We did not mean to stare, but one can not help but lose oneself in the presence of such exquisite beauty". He went as if to kiss her hand, but didn't even make it half way before Elizabeth's eyes grew wide and she yanked her hand out of his grasp. Boromir looked utterly confused and bewildered. Elizabeth looked rather uncomfortable and took a couple of steps back so that she and Boromir were not quite so close to each other. Her behavior baffled us all. Except for Gandalf of course.

"Ah. I am sorry my friends. I should have warned you, Elizabeth is not used to such mannerisms and becomes uncomfortable under such circumstances." Elizabeth stuck her tongue out at Gandalf and replied with a smug frown(A/N can someone actually frown smugly?),"I don't become uncomfortable easily and if I recall correctly, it was you who became flabbergasted when Mrs. Jones expressed an interest in you." Gandalf ignored her and continued," Forgive me, my dear. I forgot to introduce you." Gandalf then began a few, quick introductions."This is Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck, and Peregrin Took", each hobbit said their 'hallo's and 'how do you do's when their names were called."These men over here, whom you've taken such an obvious liking to", he said sarcastically,"are Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and Boromir, son of Deneth. And then this is Legolas Greenleaf and Gimli, son of Gloin." Aragorn nodded his head at her in greeting and Boromir did likewise. I bowed to the fair lady and Gimli, not seeing our earlier run in with her, bowed then went to kiss her hand. When he took Elizabeth's hand, however, she shook it, not giving him a chance to bring it to his lips.

"Nice to meet y'all. I'm Elizabeth Rosenberg", she said as she shook Gimli's hand. I wasn't sure about the others, but I was baffled by the masculine air she seemed to be giving off. I knew women who were fighters, and respected them fully, but when they were not in battle or hunting they acted very much the way a woman is expected to act. They didn't try to hide their femininity or accentuate that they were fighters, yet Elizabeth seemed to be uncomfortable when treated like a lady should be, and went about greetings as a male would. This was very puzzling indeed. Merry spoke next.

"These names are long and we prefer to be called by our nicknames. That is, we the hobbits. Samwise here is called Sam, Peregrin is Pippin, and I am Merry", he finished with an extravagant bow. Elizabeth laughed at the Merry's gestures.

"Fair enough, Merry. And you don't have to call me Elizabeth all the time, either. My friends call me Eli or Liz, take your pick. Now, can we go inside please?" Eli held the back door open to emphasize her point.

"Certainly. Thank you for inviting us into your home", I said, trying to be polite. And with that we all entered the house.

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i don't know what to write now so i'm going to stop and leave you with this. not quite as funny as i thought it would be. my sugar high is wearing off and i'm getting a case of writer's block. i'll update as soon as i can, with hopefully a better chapter than this one. not a lot happened huh? i'll try to make it funnier next time around. well newayz........REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!!!!!!! if i don't get ten reviews total for the whole fic, i'll write the rest and not post! leaving you all to try and find out what happens BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! i'm ok now, but plz review and tell me what you think. remember 10 reviews! come on people just 7 more and i'll post the next installment ::starts chanting that gains volume then fades off into distance:: re-view, re-view, re-view, re-view, re-view,.........


	3. the fellowship, a dog, an axe, a shed, &...

A/N: hi ppls! wuz up? i noe its been a while.....i'm sowwy but i was busy!! i hate school, always gettin in da way of da important stuff. thanx 2 all of u who reviewed ^_^ u made my day bright & shiny cool. it's because of u dat i now post dis chapter. again thank yous go 2 reviewers(da rest may face my wrath) j/k i won't kill u or nething like dat. oh! & remember i told u i might change POV's in some chapters? dis one is gonna b in Eli's POV! well i'll end da authors notes here instead of taking up half a page@_@ hope u like dis chapter!

disclaimer: yeah, yeah, yeah, u noe da drill, i don't own LotR, go ahead, rub it in.....

'........'=thoughts

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'I'm so glad that Grandpa's back! The people he brought with him seem nice, if not a bit strange. What was that Boromir guy doing anyway? They also bow a lot too....Whatever. Gramps will explain when he feels like it. I can wait', I thought as I led them into the house.

Bear, my german shepherd, was barking like crazy, standing at the kitchen entrance. I could tell he wanted to say hello to Grandpa, but was wary of the others, and was trying to get them to back off. It worked to some extent, because the little guys 'hobbits I think they called themselves' jumped when they heard and saw my huge dog barking at them, with his teeth slightly bared too.

Gimli 'was that his name?' apparently didn't appreciate the welcoming committee. How could I tell? Because he took this axe out, held it in a fighting stance, and yelled....

"Get back you stupid mutt!" Unfortunately, Bear can have a hot temper when he thinks someone in "his" house is being threatened. Guess what. He took Gimli's actions as a threat. So, being the way he was, Bear's eyes flashed and he jumped on the poor midget. I was so scared that Gimli would kill Bear, as he was obviously a warrior of some kind. So, being the way I was, I did the only thing I could think of....

"SIT, BOY!" And, you wanna know something, Bear sat....right on top of Gimli! 'Well', I thought. 'He subdued the "intruder"'. Indeed, the dog had pinned the midget to the ground and held Gimli's axe in his mouth, well out of the captive's reach. The captive, however, didn't appreciate this in the least.

"Get this dog off of me!", Gimli yelled while trying to push said dog off his chest. I couldn't help but laugh along with the others at this amusing sight. I felt bad for Gimli though, so I called Bear off.

"Bear, come", I commanded between laughs. When Bear saw that I didn't view the newcomers as threats, he stopped eyeing the rest of them evilly and calmly got up and came over to me. He refused to give the axe back though.

"All right Bear. You can't possibly use that thing", I said, pointing at the axe."So what are you going to do with it?" He looked at me, then Gimli, trotted out the back door (which was still open) and placed the weapon carefully in my back yard shed. Next, he looked pointedly at the others, their weapons, and back at the shed, clearly stating that they may be friends, but there was no way in hell that they were going to come in the house with pointy objects used for stabbing.

"Here now! What is the meaning of this?!", demanded a very peeved Gimli. I merely cocked an eyebrow and gave him a look that said 'you-seriously-can't-tell?'

"Clearly, the dog is ensuring that we don't have any obvious ways of harming his mistress", the blonde guy 'Legolas?' said. After explaining this to Gimli, he walked over to the "weaponry storage", took off his bow, empty quiver (A/N he ran out while fighting orcs remember), double swords, and placed them all next to Gimli's axe. Aragorn followed suit, with Boromir right behind. Bear let the hobbits keep their weapons. Who knows why.

"Well, now that Bear has dragged us all back outside again can we please go in?", I asked. Bear was immediately at my side to help me into the house or something. I placed my hand on his back while the everyone else followed us across the yard. That was when I remembered something. I mentally berated myself. How could I have forgotten that Alex was coming over to get help on the homework we had for that weekend.

"What's the matter my dear? You seem troubled by something", Grandpa inquired of me. 'Oh, it's nothing. Just that my best friend in the whole world is coming over soon and he's going to see all you freaky people. Then he's going to think I'm a freak (as if I'm not enough of one already).' Of course I didn't say this out loud. Instead I made up an excuse.

"It's nothing", I said, flashing him a smile. Some excuse, huh? To make matters worse, as soon as we came totally into the kitchen, I noticed that nobody was following me. The door was now closed and they were just standing in the middle of the kitchen staring at everything like they had never seen this sort of stuff before. Gramps noticed it too.

"Yes?", he asked them. The hobbits looked around and then Pippin responded. "What is this place?" I decided to answer, because if I let Grandpa explain we'd be standing here for hours. "This is my kitchen." I leaned against the counter, as I was sure they would have more questions. I swear I'm psychic. "What is that?", Boromir asked, pointing at the microwave. "That's a microwave. It heats up food so you don't always have to cook." They looked at me like I had three heads. "How is that possible?", asked Legolas and Aragorn, almost at the same time. I smiled. They reminded me of a bunch of little kids who had discovered that mommy and daddy controlled the car with a key (A/N hey i couldn't think of anything ok! and newayz it gives a cute mental picture^_^). "Electricity makes it possible", I said simply. I didn't think that they wouldn't know what electricity was. There goes the "I'm psychic" theory. "What's electricity?", Legolas asked me. Now it was my turn to stare at them like they had three heads. Instead of answering I walked over to the light switch (A/N can u tell this is gonna get really funny?) and turned on the lights. It didn't really matter, because it was almost dark anyway. Their reactions were priceless. And suddenly I was extremely grateful to Bear for making them leave their weapons in the shed. Allow me to explain....

Aragorn and Boromir reached to their waists for swords that weren't there, Legolas did a similar move only he reached for an imaginary bow and arrows, Gimli didn't reach for the axe Bear stole-he RAISED it into a fighting stance, the hobbits had their small blades out (you know, the ones that were actually there!). Grandpa and I looked at them like they had gone crazy. After all the non-hobbits realized what they were doing they looked incredibly embarrassed, and who could blame them! Just then I noticed something not quite so funny, though.

Alex was standing at the kitchen entrance staring at us. 

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oh i'm so evil ^_^ i'm going not going to tell u all what happens till next chapter. ^_^ this is what happens when let a 13 year old stay up late on a friday night leaving her with chinese food, diet coke, and a bowl of chocolate ice cream ^_^* heehee how's dat 4 a cliff hanger! don't worry i'm not demanding reviews this time, tho they r always welcome. & if u do review could u tell me if there's nething i need 2 fix? i would would really appreciate it. & ur gonna get ur 4th chapter tomorrow.........NIGHT!!!! i'm gonna leave u 2 squirm till den ^_^ oh i'm so evil!


	4. you've GOT to be kidding

A/N i'm so sowwy!!!!! i noe i said i'd post dis chappie last night but stuff came up & i didn't get a chance to update. my sincerest apologies!! well i'll just get right 2 da story.

disclaimer: c chapters 1, 2, & 3

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Alex was standing at the kitchen entrance staring at us. Or, namely, Gramps and company. If it was possible, I was even more scared than I was when Bear and Gimli had their little tussle with the axe. Alex stared at us.....we stared at him.Then he did the most RANDOM thing EVER!!! He started laughing. I stared some more. How could he be laughing?! Then it hit me. This was Alex. The guy who didn't get worked up / stressed out / act rationally about anything! Why the hell was I worried? The only thing that gets Alex excited is women or anything sexually related (yes, my best friend is a pervert.....sad ain't it?).

"Hey Eli. Thought you might be able to help me with the English homework we got dumped with......But you look a little busy with the Health homework, so I'll just come back later." Yep, he's a pervert all right. "You have a sick mind Alex. You realize this right?", I said. "Of course I realize it Eli", he replied, sounding hurt. Alex should seriously get an acting job. "If I didn't have a sick mind I wouldn't be the Alex you know and love." Yeah right. "Where, exactly, did you get the idea that I loved you?", I asked incredulously. We have this system of speech where we communicate through sarcasm. At least he knew when to be sarcastic. We switched out of the speech for the sake of the others.

"Hey Gandalf", Alex said. "What's up? You haven't been around lately." Gramps and I gave him the usual "you-just-figured-this-out?" stares. We all went through the introductions again, and, amazingly enough, all the way through them Alex didn't once try to cop a feel on me. Like that lasted long. I turned to show everyone into my much more accommodating family room, and guess what. Alex went into pervert mode and I suddenly felt his hand on my bum.

"PERVERT!!!!!"

Alex had an extra large bump on his head. He was also only semi-conscious. I had to get a new lamp. Gramps observed this all with a fairly calm attitude. He was used to these sort of things by now. The rest of Grandpa's friends weren't though. They all yelled a few indiscernible angry things (A/N no they did not swear. i mean can u imagine the fellowship swearing..........don't answer dat). Then their yells became clearer. Oh, how I wish they could have just drowned each other out.

"What were you doing?!", shouted Sam. Gimli followed it up with a thunderous,"Have you no shame!!!???". Alex couldn't answer any of the angry questions being thrown at him due to his current position of being plastered to my hardwood floors. Now, a pervert he may be, but he really is the best friend anyone could ever ask for. Because, pervertedness aside, he's caring, loyal, sympathetic, supportive, helpful.......and a great comic relief! And he's always stuck up for me in situations worse than this, so I gladly sided with my best and only friend.

"It's not that big a deal. You don't have to go wiggy on 'im", I informed the outraged weirdos, in a vain attempt to calm them. It didn't work. In fact it only seemed to make them angrier. Now I was really getting scared. These guys, I knew, were hard-core fighters and even though I wouldn't go down easily in battle I wasn't great at fighting. If they tried to hurt Alex I would have a pretty hard time stopping them, if I even could. I might even be lucky if I could stall them. The ever protective Bear sensed my distress and stood closer to me, so that he was slightly pushing against my side. Telling me through touch that he was there and everything would be okay. Gramps recognized the danger too, judging from his next words.

"Calm yourselves, friends", he instructed them gently. "If Elizabeth felt she was being dishonored, believe me when I tell you that she would be quick to correct the offender." The only ones who weren't paying attention were Merry and Pippin. Both of whom seemed intent on studying the lamp that lay broken on the coffee table. I was about to ask them what they were doing, but stopped when I noticed smoke coming from their general direction. Then I realized something that was very bad and soon to be very funny. The lamp was plugged in.

Sparks flew, hobbits screamed, swords went up, Alex got trampled, and I now had to clean my family room again for fourth time in as many days. Don't ask about the other times.

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i noe, i noe. it's a horribible place 2 stop but i can't think of nething else 2 put in da chapter. i'm not going 2 promise dat i'll update 2-nite cause i probably won't. but i will try 2 update within a 2 day time period. dis way da chapters will, hopefully, be of a better quality & possibly longer 2. so until den........toodles!!!!! ^_^


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